Sunday, October 30, 2011

Tell me about your Sensei

Roll 1d100 (pdf version)

1. taught me to strike first, strike hard, and show no mercy
2. is a funny drunk
3. is a mean drunk
4. resents me for learning so quickly and naturally
5. doesn't approve of using the martial arts for violence
6. is very competitive
7. can still beat me in a fight
8. is always very kindly
9. everything is a riddle
10. made me do all the house and yard work
11. made me strike and kick trees, rocks, and waterfalls in training
12. has very high hopes for me
13. puts me under a lot of pressure
14. supports me even when I fail
15. is very precise and demanding, expects precision from me
16. is in it for vengeance against Shadoloo
17. has a former student who was very talented and turned to evil
18. has a former student who was very talented and died young
19. has a former student who is kind of an embarrassment
20. is embarrassed by me
21. is kind of an embarrassment to me
22. has a reputation among the older generation as a trouble-maker
23. used to be tough as nails and beat everyone up
24. is still tough as nails and won't stop fighting
25. is a retired assassin who is now reformed
26. is a retired assassin who misses the good old days
27. used to be a soldier-of-fortune
28. used to be a bodyguard
29. has amnesia
30. is on the lam, wanted by the government for a crime he didn't commit
31. is in hiding from ninjas
32. is in the witness protection program
33. trained me for one goal: revenge on an old enemy
34. is haunted
35. is a ghost that possesses my body and teaches me to fight
36. is the last of an ancestral line of warriors, passing the knowledge on to me
37. was always masked, and I still don't know their true identity
38. knows a lot of famous martial artists and has stories about them
39. created their own style, which is the most powerful martial art ever devised
40. used to be great but is really out of shape now, but still teaches
41. won't talk about the old days
42. is a huge sports fan and still follows the fights closely
43. has a gambling problem
44. still works as a gardener, handyman, or fisherman
45. is a devoted hobbyist, only talks about fishing, fast cars, bird watching...
46. always makes inappropriate comments in public
47. meditates constantly, teaches meditation as the key to fighting
48. talks about inner peace a lot. I mean a lot.
49. has a huge school with lots of students in a remote compound
50. has a huge school with lots of students in a downtown mega-gym
51. is in it for the money
52. will only take one student at a time and is very loyal
53. will only take one student at a time and ejects poor students mercilessly
54. invented a secret "one hit kill" technique but won't teach me yet
55. has a media empire of training videos, books, licensed schools, etc.
56. is homeless and lives in the park
57. is a hermit who lives in the remote wilderness
58. trains just as hard as the students
59. has a rival who also teaches the same style in their school
60. is devoutly religious and required all students to comply with the religion
61. has many former students in positions of authority in government and industry
62. is a member of a global conspiracy of martial artists
63. is a member of the Shadoloo
64. is an agent of Interpol
65. is retired now and spends their time sipping mixed drinks on the beach
66. is so lewd
67. was never admitted to the Shaolin temple. Still bitter about it.
68. fights bears, tigers, or other animals to train. Made me do it too.
69. is always trying to one-up a former friend or rival using their students
70. is not above poisoning my opponents to give me an edge in fights
71. is a huge trash talker before my fights
72. worries about me and has a habit of throwing in the towel too early
73. usually ignored me, had a different favorite student
74. doesn't think I'll ever amount to anything
75. always told me I didn't work hard enough, I was too lazy
76. always told me I was their best student
77. kicked me out of the school
78. had a secret dojo in a suburban neighborhood
79. wanders the earth like Caine from Kung Fu
80. calls me all the time on the phone but never has anything to say
81. has never forgiven me for teaching that secret technique to an outsider
82. only calls when they want something
83. left the school to me in their will
84. was murdered by a former student
85. has gone rogue, and is tracking down and murdering former students one-by-one
86. may have secretly been a ninja
87. was a prodigy, and is younger than me
88. was grooming me to be an assassin, but I escaped when I found out
89. Sensei? My sensei was the streets.
90. was a tiger, a wolf, a bear, a snake, or another animal -- maybe more than one
91. was a sports legend in their youth, still remembered and adored by many
92. is a computer program martial arts download and VR simulation
93. has never been any good, but doesn't realize it
94. is fond of zen koans and uses unpredictable training methods
95. hates his job, is listless, bored, and sick of teaching
96. cares more about the quality of teaching than the quality of the martial arts
97. believes standards are important and is holding the line
98. is a genius loci, minor kami, or other spirit
99. is a biocyber or genetic martial arts code implanted into my body
100. is a robot
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